It all just goes to show how....

Every now and then idk I just think about you again. And I miss you terribly. Whenever I smell that KISS cologne it reminds me of you and every day we ever spent together, and your relaxed face, and every expression it ever made around me.

I mean your just so perfect, there's nothing I dont like about you. And we've known eachother for too long, but there isnt one negative memory I have about you. You possess every trait I look for in people, every guy I have ever been with within the last year and a half i've based on you.

I remember how whenever something was wrong, you were there for me, and you didnt even know I needed you then, but you were still there.

And time doesnt change a thing. Your the one guy I know will never let me down. Even though i've let you down plenty of times.

What's wrong with me?

I let go of...everything

I do it all the time, hoping it will make me feel idk complete? But how can I feel complete when everything I let go of is part of my life. I realize this all the time, but I continue to do it.

I just want to see how much I can handle, and believe me i've realized I can handle ALOT. So I let go of something else, something more important. And everytime I can handle it, and every time I lose a bit of myself.

And everytime I feel less complete, and everytime I hurt someone.

There is something seriously wrong with me, I think it's best that certain people just stay away from me, because i'm selfish, and I hurt everyone.

I challenge people, and see how much they can handle, and if they can't well then they just set themselves up to get hurt. Becuase nothing they do is good enough, nothing at all. and nothing will ever be.

I dont value things enough, nothing is important enough to me, nothing but myself. I let go of friendships, family, relationships, anything you can name I've given up for selfish reasons.

There is something seriously wrong with me.

Don't believe me? Read this again and see how many times i've used the letter "I"....yeah